


whatever our souls are made of

by acefluff



Series: whatever our souls are made of [1]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Character, Asexual Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Fluff, M/M, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Polyamory, or not idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 22:31:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14579019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acefluff/pseuds/acefluff
Summary: “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” - Emily Bronte, Wuthering HeightsSoonyoung thinks Jihoon is lonely. Jihoon disagrees.Jeonghan is just a friend. He really is.(Or, the one where Jihoon is asexual and Jeonghan has a bit of a crush on him.)





	whatever our souls are made of

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to the Juno soundtrack and then whatever Spotify played after that while I was writing this.
> 
> It took forever to post this because I spent ages fighting with the archive but it's done now. (If you saw this uploaded more than once, that is why.) The huge gaps between paragraphs are unintentional. I had to use the rich text option to get this to post (I prefer the html one) and it messed up the spacing.

“I’m _not_  lonely, Soonyoung.”

 

Jihoon was sure this was the sentence he said more than any other. Except for maybe “don’t touch my food,” or “go away, I’m sleeping.” His roommate was relentless, and ever since Soonyoung had started dating Wonwoo he had gotten more annoying by bugging Jihoon about his lack of a love-life more often. 

 

Barely a day passed without Soonyoung offering to set Jihoon up with Mingyu (Wonwoo’s giant puppy of a roommate) or trying to steal his phone to download dating apps. When they went out Soonyoung pointed out people on the street, daring Jihoon to ask them on a date and then trying to bribe him with food and soda when that didn’t work. As much as Jihoon loved food and soda, he wasn’t going to approach a stranger and ask them to go on a date with him. That was crazy, because it involved talking to strangers and could result in having to go on a date. 

 

They were currently sprawled out on their living room floor, backs leaning against the couch, a pizza box between them. 

 

“Yeah, so you keep telling me,” Soonyoung argued. “But how can you not be?”

 

“You seem to be forgetting my antisocial tendencies and general dislike for most humans,” Jihoon reminded him. “I’m not lonely.”

 

Soonyoung fixed him with pointed glance. Jihoon could count the times he’d seen his friend look that serious. 

 

“What?” he asked. 

 

Soonyoung sighed. “Everybody needs somebody. You can have a girlfriend or boyfriend or… non-binary-friend and still be antisocial.”

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “One, I don’t think that’s the correct term, and, two, I don’t _need_  anybody. You’re enough company to make up for at least five other people, and I have Zoom.”

 

He gently stroked the sleeping ball of ginger fur on his lap to emphasise his point. 

 

Soonyoung rolled his eyes. “Your cat hardly counts as company, Jihoon.” 

 

Jihoon responded with a glare. “He’s better company than you are most days.”

 

_This would probably be a good time to tell him,_ Jihoon thought. 

 

He’d had the same thought every time Soonyoung had started a conversation like this since they’d moved in together, but two years later and Jihoon still never felt like it was the right time, no matter how the conversation was going. On other occasions Jihoon had convinced himself that it really wasn’t any of Soonyoung’s business anyway, so why should he have to tell him? It wasn’t a big deal, he could just continue to reject the offers to be set up on dates and that would be fine. Nobody had to know, and that was also fine because even if they did know they would probably not understand or tell him he was wrong. 

 

Soonyoung took another huge bite of pizza, cheese stretching into a long string as he moved the slice away from his mouth. He tilted his head up and held the pizza over his mouth, carefully lowering the stretched cheese onto his tongue. 

 

With his mouth still full he asked, “Why won’t you just go on a date?”

 

Jihoon huffed in annoyance. “Why don’t you just get root canal work done on every one of your teeth?”

 

“You’re being ridiculous.”

 

“I’m really not.”

 

 

 

Like most students, Jihoon had a seat in every lecture hall that he had unofficially claimed as <em>his spot<em>. He always sat in the front row, in the furthest seat on the left. It was the ideal spot. Front row let him be close enough to hear the lecture even if there was a constant chatter from the other students, but it was also out of the direct line of sight of the professors (who usually looked towards the middle of the room, from the second row upwards, when picking out someone to answer a question). Few other people had realised this, so the middle to back rows were always full and Jihoon almost never had anybody sitting next to him, which was his preference anyway. 

 

But when the new semester started and he walked into a new class for the first time, he found someone who _had_  figured out that front left was the best place to sit. 

 

The stranger wasn’t in his seat, so that was okay, but was sitting in the spot _next to_  Jihoon’s seat, which could pose a problem. 

 

Students were annoying, always spreading out their notes and stationery across their designated desk space and often taking up some of the space of the person next to them without permission. If they had a laptop it was even worse, because then they needed space for notes _and_  stationery  _and_ the damn laptop. Jihoon squared his shoulders and stormed over to his spot, ready to demand the person remove their belongings or move to somewhere that wasn’t in Jihoon’s personal space. 

 

As it turned out, the stranger _wasn't_  taking up any of Jihoon’s desk space, so Jihoon no longer had any reason to be angry or demand that they move. 

 

So he stood uncomfortably next to the desk until the stranger looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow. 

 

“Aren’t you going to sit?”

 

Jihoon sat down without a word, keeping a suspicious eye on the stranger. It was moments like this that Jihoon was grateful that good-looking people didn’t turn him into a stuttering fool, because the stranger was possibly one of the most beautiful people he had ever seen (and he could tell without feeling any physical attraction, thank you very much). He knew that if Soonyoung had been with him he’d be on the receiving end of an elbow to the ribs and a mischievous grin, but at least he wouldn’t have had to deal with a stranger sitting next to him on his own. 

 

“I’m Jeonghan,” the stranger introduced himself. 

 

Jihoon eyed Jeonghan warily before mumbling his own name.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Jihoon.”

 

Jeonghan’s smile was so bright and genuine but it did nothing to make Jihoon’s frown disappear, although it did falter slightly.

 

“You too,” he replied, not sounding at all like he meant it but Jeonghan didn’t seem to notice, and if he did then it didn’t seem to bother him. 

 

Jihoon sighed and pulled his notebook out of his backpack, flipping to a clean page and writing the date while the lecturer set up the powerpoint. He considered getting up and moving to a different seat, but he’d already acknowledged Jeonghan and taken his stuff out of his backpack. He’d look like a real asshole if he moved, so he didn’t. Jihoon comforted himself by thinking that maybe Jeonghan would sit somewhere else next time and if he didn’t then Jihoon would, but until then he could just ignore his neighbour and focus on the lecture. 

 

Halfway through the class Jihoon glanced to the side to check that _yes_ , there _was_  still someone in the next seat, because Jeonghan was so quiet and almost motionless and not annoying and Jihoon was starting to wonder if he’d left unnoticed. But Jeonghan was there, diligently taking notes and not invading Jihoon’s desk space at all. 

 

Jihoon hurried to pack his things when class was over, hoping to avoid any forced conversation with Jeonghan. 

 

When he stood to leave Jeonghan smiled at him and said, “See you next week!”

 

Jihoon nodded and stuttered out a, “Sure, yes,” before rushing for the door. 

 

 

 

“Was he hot?”

 

Complaining to Soonyoung about his not-annoying desk neighbour was clearly a bad idea. 

 

Jihoon groaned. “I don’t know, Soonyoung. I guess maybe?”

 

Soonyoung grinned. “So he was.”

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes, hoping that this would be the end of the conversation, but of course Soonyoung wouldn’t allow that. 

 

“What’s his major?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Where is he from?”

 

Jihoon shrugged.

 

“Is he single?”

 

“No idea.”

 

“So then what <em>do<em> you know about him?”

 

“…His name?”

 

Soonyoung looked at Jihoon with the same exasperated expression he’d used when Jihoon first brought Zoom home. 

 

“I’m disappointed in you, JIhoon,” Soonyoung said, shaking his head. “A good-looking guy sits next to you in class and you don’t even have a real conversation with him.”

 

Jihoon raised an eyebrow. “Did you really think I would?”

 

Zoom jumped down from where he was sitting on one of the barstools and started head-butting Jihoon’s ankle. He reached down to pick up the cat and cradled Zoom with one arm while he opened the cupboard reserved for cat food and treats. Jihoon had learned how to do a lot of things in the kitchen with one hand because of how often Zoom followed him in there and he could never resist picking the cat up for cuddles.

 

Soonyoung rolled his eyes as Jihoon struggled to open the pellet bag with one hand before scooping a serving into Zoom’s bowl. 

 

“For the love of God, talk to the guy next time you have class with him,” Soonyoung said. “You need more human friends. And I know that because no normal human can navigate a kitchen while holding a cat.” 

 

His only reply was a scathing glare when Jihoon walked past him to give Zoom his food next to the door. 

 

 

 

Jihoon didn’t have to start a conversation with Jeonghan in the next class, because Jeonghan beat him to it. 

 

“Hey, Jihoon! I was saving a seat for you.”

 

Jihoon was going to sit there anyway, it was <em>his seat,<em> and he would’ve sat there regardless because he decided that Jeonghan wasn’t annoying enough to give up the perfect seat. But it was a nice gesture and Jeonghan looked entirely too happy to see him considering they had met once before and had barely spoken to each other, so Jihoon couldn’t help the small smile that curved on his lips as he sat down. 

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem. Did you do the pre-reading for today?” Jeonghan asked. 

 

Jihoon scrunched his nose up. He’d forgotten, but he’d also had a project to work on and that sounded like a better excuse. “Nah, I had stuff to do.”

 

Jeonghan chuckled. “Yeah, me too. Can you believe I already had a test to study for? Figured that was more of a priority than reading something we’re going to cover now in class anyway.”

 

Jihoon nodded. He wasn’t sure how to keep the conversation going from there, he often got stuck in situations like this, but Jeonghan didn’t make it awkward and managed to keep the conversation alive for him. 

 

“So, what are you studying?” 

 

“Media. I decided to specialise in video production,” Jihoon replied, busying himself with finding a pen in his backpack so he didn’t have to make eye contact. 

 

“That’s so cool! Is this class just for credits then?”

 

Jihoon nodded. “Yeah, I was short a few and this class seemed like the least work out of the elective options.”

 

“Same with me,” said Jeonghan. “I’m doing public relations. I also needed the extra credits to graduate and this seemed easy but also maybe kind of useful.” 

 

Jeonghan looked like he was about to ask something else but, to Jihoon’s relief, the lecturer started the class. 

 

 

 

Every class that followed was like that. 

 

Jihoon would arrive, usually feeling a bit grumpy because it was an early class and he’d rather be sleeping, and Jeonghan would greet him with a smile and ask him questions. Some days Jeonghan would greet him with a, “Jihoon! You are _not_  going to believe this!” followed up with some crazy story to make Jihoon laugh. Soon Jihoon felt comfortable enough to properly engage in their conversations and started giving more detailed answers and occasionally asking Jeonghan questions. He even started not minding the early wake up.

 

They often ended up leaving class together, Jeonghan heading in the same direction to his next class as Jihoon was going to leave campus and get the train back to his apartment. 

 

Jihoon always got back home in a good mood after classes with Jeonghan, and of course Soonyoung noticed and made a big deal out of it, which was completely unnecessary. 

 

“You like him!” he sing-songed when Jihoon flopped down on the couch. 

 

Jihoon didn’t answer.

 

Soonyoung paused the game he was playing to grin at his roommate. “You like him,” he repeated, sounding like he was stating a scientific fact. 

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes. “He’s just a friend.”

 

He picked up the little toy mouse that was resting on the arm of the couch and dangled it by the tail, making Zoom dash across the room from his sunny spot on the carpet to bat at it with his paws. Jihoon picked the ginger cat up, and rested him on his stomach. Zoom held the toy between his paws and licked it. Jihoon gently pulled the tail and Zoom reached out to grab the toys, sinking his claws in to stop it from being taken away. 

 

“That cat is as lazy as you are,” Soonyoung remarked, turning back to the TV and un-pausing the game.

 

It was silent except for the sound effects from the video game and Zoom’s purring until Soonyoung said, “Wonwoo said Seungcheol is having a party on Friday night. We’re going.”

 

“No.”

 

“ _Yes._ ”

 

“I’m not going to a party, Soonyoung,” Jihoon grumbled. He scratched Zoom’s head and the cat leaned into it, purring louder. 

 

“Yes, you are,” Soonyoung continued, not even looking away from the game, “because Seokmin, Jun, Minghao and the kids will be there. And so will Jeonghan.”

 

Jihoon scoffed. “And how do you know that?”

 

“He’s friends with Seungcheol.”

 

“Okay, and how do you know that?”

 

Jihoon could hear the smugness in Soonyoung’s voice when he replied. 

 

“I told Wonwoo about him and Wonwoo told me that Seungcheol knows him.”

 

Jihoon groaned. “What did you tell Wonwoo for? And it might not even be him, it could be a different Jeonghan.” 

 

“Well, unless there’s another Jeonghan in your class who told Seungcheol about his friend called Jihoon,” Soonyoung replied with a laugh. “I’m pretty sure it’s your Jeonghan.”  


“He’s not my Jeonghan,” Jihoon said through gritted teeth. “And we’re barely even friends. We see each other in class and that’s it.”  
  
“So wouldn’t a party be a great opportunity to see him outside class?”

 

Jihoon didn’t reply, because he wouldn’t admit that Soonyoung was right. He did kind of want to spend more time with Jeonghan. 

 

“This way you get to see him and claim coincidence, so you don’t even have to ask him out!”

 

Jihoon continued ignoring his roommate, this time because he didn’t feel like having the <em>I don’t date<em> discussion again. 

 

“You can keep ignoring me, but you’re still going to the party with me.”

 

Jihoon threw the mouse toy at Soonyoung’s head, but even that didn’t break his concentration on the video game. 

 

 

 

Jihoon hated parties, and he was sure this one was going to be on the top of his list of horrible events because it was far too loud and crowded in Seungcheol’s little apartment. It didn’t help that Soonyoung was scanning the room, trying to find Jeonghan from the second they arrived. Jihoon was hoping that Wonwoo would appear and distract Soonyoung, maybe even drag him away to do whatever it is that couples do at university parties so Jihoon could sneak out and go home. Wonwoo, however, was too busy watching Jun and Minghao who were showing off their martial arts skills and almost kicking the people crowded around to watch.

 

Soonyoung picked up two beers somewhere and forced one into Jihoon’s hands. 

 

Jihoon tried to head towards the unoccupied couch so he could sit and not drink his beer in the least crowded place at the party, but Soonyoung grabbed his arm and dragged him over to what had become a nunchuck demonstration. 

 

“If you try and leave I won’t wake you up for your early classes for the rest of the semester,” Soonyoung threatened in a whisper. 

 

He’d have to stay now, at least until Soonyoung was drunk enough to be dragged home, because he’d miss every early lecture if Soonyoung didn’t haul him out of bed for them. Jihoon groaned and reluctantly let himself be led over to his friends; Seokmin and Seungkwan were attempting to imitate the martial arts display while Mingyu, Hansol and Chan tried to stay out of the way.

 

Soonyoung let go of JIhoon’s arm so he could kiss Wonwoo’s cheek (and Wonwoo pretended to be annoyed and pushed Soonyoung away, but Jihoon could see the smile he was trying to hide). Seungcheol came over then, throwing his arms around all three of them and yelling about how happy he was that they were there. 

 

“It’s only eight o’clock, Cheol, how are you already drunk?” Jihoon scolded. 

 

“He started _really_  early,” Wonwoo explained, looking almost as unhappy as Jihoon about being squashed in a drunken group hug. 

 

Jihoon managed to duck out of it and avoid being grabbed by Soonyoung again. 

 

“I’m going to get a drink,” he said, backing away towards the kitchen. 

 

“I just gave you a beer!” Soonyoung nearly shouted over the noise.

 

Jihoon made some vague hand gestures to convey that he didn’t hear his roommate and continued towards the kitchen, the quietest place in the apartment. 

 

 

 

 

 

Jihoon found a can of Pringles and some cola left out on the counter and helped himself, figuring they were probably for the party anyway. He hopped up to sit on the counter and tucked in, prepared to wait out the party in the solitude of the kitchen. 

 

He was only interrupted by Seungcheol and Joshua, someone Seungcheol knew from class, when they came into the kitchen in to fetch snacks or more alcohol. Seungcheol was too wasted to even notice the boy sitting on his counter and Joshua just smiled knowingly and left Jihoon to continue being antisocial. 

 

It wasn’t long before Soonyoung barged into the kitchen, breathing heavily with his hair all messed up. 

 

He looked at Jihoon, eyes shining with mischief and said, “He’s here.”

 

“Who?” Jihoon asked through a mouthful of Pringles. 

 

“ _Him!_ ” Soonyoung said, as though that cleared everything up. 

 

He huffed at Jihoon’s blank expression. “Jeonghan! Jeonghan is here!”

 

Jihoon nodded slowly, swallowed the Pringles in his mouth and said, “Okay.”

 

Soonyoung skipped over, too gracefully for someone who looked already quite drunk, and grabbed Jihoon’s arm to pull him off the counter. “Come on!”

 

Jihoon shook his arm out of Soonyoung’s grip. He smiled sweetly and said, “I’m right behind you.”

 

He motioned towards the door and Soonyoung turned and rushed out, foolishly believing that Jihoon would follow. 

 

He didn’t. 

 

 

 

Of course, some supernatural force was working to embarrass Jihoon because the next person who came into the kitchen was Jeonghan. 

 

Jihoon was focused on his phone screen at the time but caught the door opening out of the corner of his eye, assuming it was Soonyoung back to drag him out again.

 

“Nothing you can say will make me want to leave this kitchen,” he said.

 

“Noted,” replied a voice he was not expecting.

 

Jihoon’s head snapped up and a blush rose to his cheeks when he saw Jeonghan standing in the doorway. 

 

“I thought you were my roommate,” he explained. 

 

Jeonghan closed the door and sat down at the small kitchen table. “So, how do you know Seungcheol?”

 

“Soonyoung, my roommate, is dating his friend Wonwoo. But we’ve all been friends for a while,” Jihoon explained. “How do you know him?”

 

“He’s in a class with Joshua,” said Jeonghan. He didn’t say how he knew Joshua and Jihoon didn’t bother to ask. “I guess you’re also avoiding the drunk people?”

 

Jihoon laughed. “Yeah, Soonyoung gets a bit wild when he’s been drinking. And I’m not a very social person, I was dragged here against my will.” 

 

“Mind if I hide in here with you?”

 

Jihoon surprised himself by answering with, “Sure. You want some Pringles?”

 

Why was he inviting someone to share his hiding spot when he’d actually wanted to be alone? And even more surprisingly he offered to share food, and not just to be polite but because he really didn’t mind if Jeonghan had some. 

 

Soonyoung would say it’s because Jihoon had a crush on Jeonghan, and while he did enjoy Jeonghan’s company he wasn’t hoping that their casual friendship would develop into anything more serious or romantic. All he really wanted (and would never admit aloud) was that he and Jeonghan might become better friends. And as much as he disliked opening up to new people, Jeonghan made it easy and less daunting.

 

 

 

They spent the rest of the night talking and raiding Seungcheol’s kitchen for snacks, and when Soonyoung eventually stumbled in to tell Jihoon that he wanted to go home and eat friend chicken, Jeonghan held his phone out to Jihoon who looked at it in confusion. 

 

“Add your number.” Jeonghan shrugged. “Kinda weird that we haven’t done that yet.”

 

Jihoon wordlessly tapped his number into Jeonghan’s phone and saved it with his name (with the class they shared in the ‘company’ section of the contact just to be safe).

 

Jeonghan smiled brightly and promised to text him as Jihoon was dragged out the door by a whiny Soonyoung and a giggly Wonwoo. 

 

 

 

“So,” Soonyoung spoke through a mouthful of fried chicken. “What did you guys talk about?”

 

He’d sobered up significantly since they’d returned to their apartment and ordered food. Unfortunately, he wasn’t one of those forgetful drunks, so he was fully aware that Jihoon had spent the party hiding in the kitchen with Jeonghan and now the interrogation had begun. Wonwoo, on the other hand, had eaten two pieces of chicken before he passed out on the couch.

 

“I don’t know,” Jihoon sighed. “Classes? Our families? Music? How annoying my roommate is?”

 

Soonyoung glared at him, looking very unthreatening with his cheeks puffed out and full of food, and mumbled, “You know you love me.”

 

“Nah.” 

 

Jihoon pulled a small piece of meat off a chicken wing and dangled it in front of Zoom’s nose where the cat was asleep next to him. The cat didn’t budge. 

 

“He sleeps like a rock,” Soonyoung mumbled. “Must get it from you.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

 

 

Two weeks later Jihoon took his seat next to Jeonghan in class and frowned when he noticed the lecturer had, miraculously, managed to get the projector set up without asking a student for help. The first slide of a powerpoint presentation was up and ready, informing the students of the assignment due in the next class. 

 

Jihoon scanned the screen and swore under his breath, making Jeonghan laugh. 

 

“That was my reaction, too.”

 

Jihoon groaned. “If it was any other week I wouldn’t mind, but I’m swamped!”

 

The lecturer called for the class’ attention before Jeonghan could reply. 

 

Jihoon was angrily shoving his notebook and pens into his backpack after class when Jeonghan continued their earlier conversation. 

 

“We could work on the assignment together.”

 

Jihoon paused. He _hated_  working with other people. It meant having to explain all his decisions and methods, and work at the slower pace of the group, and deal with unreliable people and let his marks be determined by the group’s abilities. But this wasn’t a group assignment, they would be helping each other with their individual projects, so it’s not like he’d have to do extra work or get a bad grade if Jeonghan didn’t do well. It might even go faster with someone to share ideas with. 

 

“We don’t have to,” Jeonghan said when he saw the unsure look on Jihoon’s face. “I just thought maybe it would be easier if we worked together. And we can motivate each other.”

 

“Sure,” Jihoon agreed. 

 

He hadn’t even decided properly when he answered, but working with Jeonghan was an opportunity to spend time together outside of class and Jihoon was all for that because he was too shy to just ask the other boy to hang out with him. They’d been texting on and off since the party, but they still only ever spoke face to face in the lecture hall, so maybe this was the chance to finally start seeing Jeonghan in situations that Jihoon was in by choice. 

 

 

 

The original plan was to meet up and work in the library, but they took one look at the crowd inside and decided that finding somewhere else to work would be a better idea. 

 

“We could use an empty tutoring room?” Jihoon suggested, although he wasn’t at all keen on that idea. People were always going in and out of the tutoring rooms looking for a quiet place to study, so they’d have constant interruptions and distractions. What he really wanted was to go home and sit on his bed with Zoom and a cup of coffee while he worked. Jeonghan must’ve picked up on Jihoon’s lack of enthusiasm to stay on campus.

 

“Or we could go off campus,” he suggested. 

 

Jihoon nodded and shrugged as though he was contemplating it, pretending like that wasn’t exactly what he’d been hoping Jeonghan would suggest. 

 

“Your place?” he asked. 

 

“If you don’t mind a thirty minute train ride,” Jeonghan replied. “Is your apartment closer?”

 

“Ten minutes away.”

 

“Are you okay with going there?” Jeonghan asked. “We could go to my place, but it’s kinda far for you to come back afterwards.”

 

“No,” Jihoon shook his head. “We can go to my apartment. I forgot my laptop there anyway.”

 

Thank God Soonyoung had a class and then dance society meetings and rehearsals all afternoon. 

 

 

 

 

 

Zoom meowed and ran over to rub against Jihoon’s ankles as soon as the front door opened.

 

“Hi, buddy,” Jihoon cooed, bending down to scratch behind Zoom’s ears. 

 

“You have a cat!” Jeonghan exclaimed. 

 

“Yeah,” Jihoon mumbled, still fussing over Zoom in the doorway. “His name is Zoom.”

 

“Cute!” Jeonghan bent down and reached out a hand and Zoom shied away from the new human.

 

“He’s a little bit shy around new people,” Jihoon explained. “He’ll warm up to you soon, as long as you aren’t too loud and don’t move too suddenly. He was a stray.”

 

Jeonghan patiently waited for Zoom to inch forwards and sniff at his hand before gently butting his head against his fingers. Jeonghan slowly stretched his fingers out and stroked the cat’s head. 

 

“Looks like he likes you,” Jihoon chuckled. “He usually takes a lot longer to approach people.”

 

Jeonghan’s smile was brighter than Jihoon had ever seen it, clearly very happy that the cat liked him.

 

Jihoon scooped Zoom up into his arms, kicked the door closed behind Jeonghan and led him through the apartment to the lounge. He shifted Zoom from arm to arm so he could take his backpack off and drop it next to the couch. 

 

It was weird seeing Jeonghan standing in his apartment; it was like he’d been cut out of the lecture venue and pasted into Jihoon’s home, but Jihoon didn’t feel uncomfortable or insecure about him being there. When other people visited for the first time he felt awkward that they were in _his_  space rather than somewhere public, but Jeonghan being there felt oddly normal. Jihoon wasn’t worried that the apartment looked more lived in that it should (thanks to Soonyoung leaving empty mugs everywhere), or that there was a clump of cat hair on the carpet. This was normal; the apartment was rarely properly clean and sure, they usually tidied up a little for guests, but Jihoon didn’t feel like he needed to pretend his home was perfect for Jeonghan. He was _comfortable_. Maybe because he knew Jeonghan wouldn’t scold him for the mess like Wonwoo and Mingyu did when they came over. 

 

“Sit wherever you want,” Jihoon said as he toed off his shoes to sit cross legged on the couch with Zoom in his lap.

 

Jeonghan sat on the other side of the couch and pulled his laptop out of his bag while Jihoon leaned over to retrieve his from where he’d left it on the coffee table. 

 

“So, I think we should start by finding some articles to reference from and then we can figure out how to structure our essays?” Jeonghan suggested. 

 

Jihoon would normally start writing and then do research to fill in the gaps, but he was willing to try it Jeonghan’s way and he could always make notes and start writing as they researched. So he agreed and they got to work. 

 

They spent the afternoon researching and sharing their finds, Zoom keeping them company on the couch. Occasionally the cat got bored with sitting against Jihoon’s leg and decided to take a walk across the couch, stepping on both laptop keyboards before jumping off the couch and then climbing up the back to resume his nap next at Jihoon’s side. 

 

At some point Jihoon began slouching down on the couch until he was lying on his back, knees bent and laptop balancing against his legs with Zoom curled up on his chest. Jeonghan had also made himself comfortable and was sitting sideways on the couch with his legs crossed, leaning on the arm. They were so engrossed in their work that they hardly noticed the time passing, only realising how late it was when they heard the front door unlock and creak open. 

 

“I’m back!” Soonyoung called from the hallway. “Is there anything in the fridge or should I order something?”

 

Soonyoung stopped and stared when he noticed the second person sitting on the couch. Jihoon buried his face in his hands when he noticed the smirk growing on his roommate’s lips. 

 

“There’s food leftover from last night,” he mumbled, but Soonyoung wasn’t listening.

 

He was making a beeline for Jeonghan, hand outstretched and grinning like a naughty child.

 

“Hi, I’m Soonyoung! Jihoon’s roommate!”

 

Jeonghan handled the onslaught well and just smiled calmly, shook Soonyoung’s hand and said, “I’m Jeonghan. I think I saw you at Seungcheol’s party, you were dancing on the coffee table.”

 

Soonyoung at least had the decency to look a little bit embarrassed. “Yeah…”

 

Zoom stood up from his spot on Jihoon’s chest, stretched, and ambled over to Soonyoung to give him a gentle head-butt as a greeting before meowing and running over to his empty food bowl. 

 

“I’d better feed him,” Jihoon groaned, heaving himself up from the couch.

 

“And I should probably get going,” Jeonghan said, closing his laptop and gathering his notes.

 

“No!” Soonyoung exclaimed, making the other two pause to look at him. “I mean, you don’t have to,” he told Jeonghan. 

 

Jihoon pretended he was too busy feeding Zoom to be paying attention to what his roommate was saying. 

 

“No, I really should go,” Jeonghan replied. 

 

Jihoon could sense Soonyoung’s disappointment at losing an opportunity to torture him, and although he was relieved he wouldn’t be forced into an awkward situation by his roommate he was also kind of sad that Jeonghan couldn’t stay. 

 

Jihoon called Zoom over to the kitchen doorway where he got fed and waited for the cat to sit. When Zoom sat down and looked up, waiting for his food, Jihoon crouched down and held out a hand. Zoom lifted a paw and tapped Jihoon’s hand twice before putting his paw down and meowing loudly. Jihoon put the food bowl down and the cat happily started eating.

 

“That’s so cool!” said Jeonghan. “How did you get him to do that?”

 

Jihoon shrugged. “He always sat when I was going to feed him, then one day I just lifted his paw and shook it a little, and then I started doing that every time I fed him. Eventually he just did it himself.”

 

“Are you sure you have to go?” Soonyoung asked. “We can order pizza!”

 

“Soonyoung,” Jihoon scolded. 

 

Soonyoung sighed and went to retrieve the leftovers from the fridge. 

 

“I’ll walk out with you,” Jihoon said, pulling on a hoodie. 

 

If Soonyoung was going to act like an overexcited child then maybe Jihoon wouldn’t invite Jeonghan over again. As much as he found himself enjoying the company he wasn’t sure it was worth having to deal with Soonyoung afterwards. 

 

 

 

“Why was Soonyoung so eager for me to stay?” Jeonghan asked as they walked down the stairs to the building’s exit. 

 

“He’s excited that I have a friend who came to visit,” Jihoon explained shyly. “He always says I’m too antisocial.”

 

Jeonghan laughed. “I’ll have to come over more often then, we can fool him into thinking you’re a social butterfly.”

 

“Sure,” Jihoon grinned. 

 

Jeonghan hugged him when he said goodbye outside Jihoon’s building, and somehow Jihoon didn’t mind it. Jihoon always shoved Soonyoung away and laughed when he tried to be physically affectionate, as he did with most people, but Jeonghan was making Jihoon break a lot of his own rules. 

 

And it wasn’t as awful as Jihoon thought it would be. He actually almost enjoyed he contact.

 

 

 

“So, what did you guys do?” Soonyoung asked, sounding smug and grinning from ear to ear. 

 

“We worked on an assignment,” Jihoon replied, swirling his noodles around with his chopsticks. 

 

Soonyoung huffed. “You’re so boring.”

 

Jihoon raised an eyebrow. “Were you really expecting anything else?”

 

“I don’t know.” Soonyoung shrugged. “I guess I was hoping that maybe you’d admit your feelings or something.”

 

“I don’t have feelings for him,” Jihoon gritted out through clenched teeth.

 

“Sure,” Soonyoung mumbled. “He’s hot as fuck, but sure, whatever you say.”

 

Maybe it was because Jihoon was tired of repeating himself. Maybe it was because his best friend still wasn’t getting it. Maybe he was just sick of being told he was wrong about his own feelings. Or maybe it was a combination of all those things that made Jihoon finally snap. 

 

“Goddammit, Soonyoung!” he yelled, angrily shoving his dinner onto the coffee table. “I don’t have feelings for him! Stop telling me how and what I must feel! Just because you find people attractive doesn’t mean that I have to! Just because everyone else is obsessed with sex and relationships doesn’t mean I also have to be!”

 

Jihoon jumped up from the couch and stalked off to his room, leaving Soonyoung sitting in shock with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. 

 

Jihoon slammed his door and leaned up against it, pressing his forehead against the wood and breathing heavily. He could feel his throat stinging with the effort it took to hold back the tears of frustration and his ears were ringing after his outburst. He could hear Zoom softly meowing and pawing at his door, but he was stubbornly keeping the door closed in case Soonyoung thought it was an invitation to talk if he opened it to let the cat in. 

 

After a few minutes there was a gentle knock on the door. 

 

“Jihoon?” Soonyoung called softly. “Please can we talk?”

 

Jihoon didn’t answer, determined to ignore his roommate. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung continued. “Please just talk to me.”

 

Jihoon sighed. He really wanted to keep being angry at Soonyoung but he also didn’t want things to be awkward between them; living together would get uncomfortable quickly if Jihoon was intent on ignoring Soonyoung. It would be more productive to talk things out, regardless of how much Jihoon didn’t want to. 

 

He reluctantly stepped back and opened the door. Zoom raced into the room as soon as the door was open enough, brushing past Jihoon’s ankles before hopping up onto the bed. 

 

Soonyoung stood outside. He was staring at his feet and looking like a scolded puppy, avoiding Jihoon’s gaze while Jihoon avoided his. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Soonyoung said softly. “I honestly didn’t know it bothered you so much when I teased you like that.”

 

“I guess me saying ‘no’ every time wasn’t clear enough,” Jihoon replied bitterly. “But thanks.”

 

“You get riled up so easily, I didn’t think it really bothered you.”

 

“Yeah, well, it does,” Jihoon mumbled. 

 

“Okay,” said Soonyoung. “I know that now. I won’t do it again.”

 

Jihoon nodded, still not meeting Soonyoung’s eyes. 

 

They stood in awkward silence until Soonyoung asked, “Are you going to tell me why it bothers you so much?”

 

Jihoon hesitated. “You wouldn’t understand.”

 

“I can try to.”

 

Jihoon walked back into his room and sat down on his bed, picking Zoom up and cradling him in his arms. If there was a perfect situation Jihoon had been waiting for to tell Soonyoung, then this was it. He didn’t even need to find a way to work it into a conversation because Soonyoung asked him directly. But now that it was the perfect time, Jihoon felt even more nervous about being honest. 

 

He was pretty sure that Soonyoung would be supportive and wouldn’t be insensitive, but there was always a chance that he’d be told he was wrong, or mentally ill. It was safer keeping it a secret than being honest and possibly being met with hostility. As much as Soonyoung frustrated him sometimes, Jihoon didn’t want to lose his best friend, and that was a real possibility, but deep down he knew that things would be okay and Soonyoung wouldn’t hurt him.

 

He had to say it. Nobody else knew, and it was getting more and more difficult to be with their friends who were always talking about relationships and hookups and trying to get Jihoon to go on dates. If he just said it then that could all stop. They would understand. 

 

But maybe they wouldn’t.

 

Jihoon went back and forth in his head, weighing up the pros and cons and then reweighing them over and over. 

 

Soonyoung had slowly made his way into Jihoon’s bedroom until he was sitting in the desk chair. He didn’t say anything, aware of the internal struggle his friend was having and not wanting to say anything that would make Jihoon decide against opening up to him. So he waited patiently until Jihoon sighed and finally looked up to meet his eyes. 

 

Jihoon could make out the encouragement in Soonyoung’s expression, and that was the final push he needed to finally be honest, not only to his friend but also to himself, because even though he knew he didn’t always like admitting it to himself. 

 

“I’m asexual, Soonyoung.”

 

Jihoon was ready for Soonyoung to laugh, or make a plant joke, or tell him he was being ridiculous. He was ready to hear a triumphant “I knew it!” or a confused “What the fuck?” but none of those things happened. 

 

“Does anyone else know?” Soonyoung asked. 

 

Jihoon shook his head. Soonyoung smiled. 

 

“Thank you for telling me.” 

 

Jihoon felt strangely lighter; he hadn’t even been aware of a weight on his chest, but it was suddenly gone. His stomach also felt like it had dropped down into the ground and his palms were sweating, but he felt good because Soonyoung had accepted him so easily. 

 

Soonyoung stood up from the desk chair and opened his arms. “Can I hug you?”

 

Jihoon rolled his eyes but the corner of his mouth twitched up into the start of a smile. “Yeah, whatever.”

 

He put Zoom down on the bed and stood up, Soonyoung’s arms immediately engulfing him. 

 

“Thanks, Soonyoung.”

 

 

 

Things were easier after that. 

 

When all their friends got together and started going into too much detail about their love-lives Soonyoung would shoot Jihoon a quick smile that said ’ _I got you, bro_ ,’ and change the subject so tactfully that nobody really even noticed the conversation shift. When people started bugging Jihoon about his lack of a relationship, Soonyoung defended him and asked why people cared so much. Soonyoung never outed him, and Jihoon was grateful.

 

He kind of regretted not telling Soonyoung sooner. 

 

 

 

With Jihoon’s asexuality out in the open and Soonyoung having accepted that he was not attracted to his classmate, he felt more comfortable about having Jeonghan visit more often.

 

Jeonghan started coming over to the apartment so he and Jihoon could work on assignments together (even ones for the classes they didn’t share). They both found that having someone else to work with was very motivating, and they got assignments and revision done in less time than it took if they worked by themselves. 

 

Soon enough they were meeting up to have coffee or watch movies so they could spend time together aside from when they were doing university work. Jihoon was spending almost as much time with Jeonghan as he was with Soonyoung, and he felt like he was getting to know his new friend really well. He even felt comfortable enough to allow physical contact and some minor affection between them. Most times their movie nights would end with Jihoon lying with his head in Jeonghan’s lap, Jeonghan stroking his fingers through his hair and gently shaking Jihoon awake when it was time for him to get home. 

 

After that had happened more than a few times Jihoon suggested that Jeonghan stay the night rather than make the long journey back to his apartment so late. Jeonghan insisted on sleeping on the couch the first time he stayed over, leaving Jihoon feeling kind of bad that his friend got the lumpy couch while he was comfortable in bed. 

 

The next time Jihoon insisted that Jeonghan take his bed, but Jeonghan refused to let Jihoon sleep on the couch. So, very shyly with a lot of stuttering and no eye contact, Jihoon suggested that they share his bed. 

 

“There should be space for the both of us,” he said with a shrug. 

 

Jeonghan frowned. “Are you sure you’re okay with that? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

 

Jihoon shrugged. “I think it’ll be okay.”

 

And it was. 

 

It was kind of cramped but not unpleasant and Jeonghan didn’t cling to Jihoon, just put an arm around him when Jihoon rested his head against Jeonghan’s shoulder. 

 

It was actually kind of nice sharing a bed with someone in such an innocent way, and Jihoon even felt okay about it happening again. 

 

Maybe it was the intimacy of sharing a bed that led to Jeonghan being more affectionate in general. Jihoon didn’t hate it so he let Jeonghan play with his hair or wrap his arms around him (much to Soonyoung’s amusement, because he was always pushed away when he initiated contact), but he worried that maybe Jeonghan had gotten the wrong idea. When Jihoon voiced his concerns to Soonyoung his roommate shrugged and said, “Maybe he’s just a very affectionate person. Is he like this with anyone else?”

 

Jihoon frowned. “I don’t know, usually it’s just the two of us when we hang out.”

 

Soonyoung nodded thoughtfully and didn’t reply. 

 

Jihoon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “What do I _do_ , Soonyoung?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Jihoon groaned. 

 

He decided not to do anything. He didn’t want to have the ‘no relationships and no sex’ conversation if that wasn’t was Jeonghan was aiming for, because that would just make things unnecessarily uncomfortable. Things didn’t escalate and Jeonghan never mentioned wanting to change their relationship, but the physical affection continued so Jihoon started to believe that maybe Jeonghan did like him in a more romantic way, because he still didn’t know if this was how Jeonghan normally behaved with his friends. His first instinct was to draw back, put as much distance between himself and Jeonghan as possible and avoid any contact at all (physical or other), but he gritted his teeth, pushed past that instinct and let it happen because he did kind of like it and he didn’t want to hurt or confuse Jeonghan. 

 

Eventually Soonyoung decided that maybe Jeonghan _did_  have a crush on Jihoon. 

 

So it was a bit of a shock when Jihoon met up with Jeonghan on campus so they could leave together to study at his and Soonyoung’s apartment and found him holding hands with Joshua. 

 

Jihoon frowned in confusion as he approached the pair, trying not to make any assumptions. Maybe Jeonghan was just very affectionate with all his friends after all, and Jihoon just hadn’t noticed before. _But he never holds my hand…_  a little voice in his head nagged. 

 

“Oh, hey! Jihoon!” Jeonghan called, waving across the quadrangle with the hand not holding Joshua’s. 

 

Jihoon smiled weakly, a little thrown off, and walked over to the pair. 

 

“Hi. You ready to go?” he asked. 

 

“Sure,” Jeonghan replied with a bright smile. “You remember Joshua from Seungcheol’s party?”

 

Jihoon nodded, turning to the other boy. “Yeah, sorry. Hi.”

 

Joshua just smiled sweetly. “Hey.”

 

“I’ll see you at home,” Jeonghan said, turning to Joshua.

 

“Okay,” Joshua replied.“I’ll pick up dinner.”

 

“You’re the best,” Jeonghan said. Then he leaned in and gently kissed Joshua on the cheek, making the other boy giggle.

 

“Go study!” Joshua scolded, pushing Jeonghan away.

 

Jeonghan laughed as he put an arm around Jihoon and started steering him away, waving over his shoulder to his… boyfriend? But then why had Jeonghan never mentioned Joshua in that context? He’d never mentioned Joshua at all actually, only when Jihoon had asked how he knew Seungcheol. 

 

Jeonghan chatted happily on the commute to Jihoon’s apartment, but Jihoon was far less talkative than his usually already quiet self. 

 

When they got to the apartment, Jihoon headed straight to the living room, picking Zoom up from his favourite sunny spot by the window and sitting on the couch to cuddle him. The cat purred and nuzzled his head under Jihoon’s chin, happy that his human was home. 

 

“I skipped breakfast and I’m getting hungry, do you want to order pizza?” Jeonghan called from the hallway where he was hanging up his coat. 

 

The only answer Jeonghan got to his question was a noncommittal shrug from Jihoon, who was still fussing over his cat. Jeonghan frowned, now worried that something was wrong. 

 

“Are you okay?” he asked Jihoon, walking towards the couch. He reached out to put a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder and felt him tense up. “Please tell me what’s wrong.”

 

Jihoon shrugged again, jostling Zoom in his arms a little bit but the cat didn’t seem to mind. 

 

“Please?” Jeonghan pleaded, sitting next to Jihoon and scratching Zoom’s ears. 

 

Jihoon sighed. “I guess I’m just a bit surprised. You never even talk about Joshua so I was kind of surprised seeing you guys together like that. Just seems like something you share with a friend.”

 

Jeonghan’s confusion made Jihoon wish he’d never said anything. He was expecting an argument to start; Jeonghan would be annoyed that Jihoon was annoyed, and irritated that Jihoon thought he was privy to Jeonghan’s private life. But Jeonghan just smiled and shook his head. 

 

“It’s not really a big deal,” he explained. “We were always close, living together and everything, and it just kind of happened.”

 

Jihoon nodded thoughtfully, still not making eye contact. 

 

“I didn’t say anything because you don’t really know Joshua,” Jeonghan continued. “And it really didn’t seem like a big deal because most of our friends just went with it when it happened. We never exactly announced it to anyone”

 

“I guess it isn’t,” Jihoon muttered. 

 

They sat in silence for a minute before Jeonghan spoke again. “There’s still something bothering you.”

 

Jihoon squirmed in his seat, adjusting Zoom so the cat was lying on his lap rather than in his arms.

 

Obviously, now that he knew Jeonghan and Joshua were together, Jihoon assumed that Jeonghan wasn’t interested in him. Bringing it up was pointless and would only lead to a conversation that Jihoon was sure he didn’t want to have. Things were fine, he understood why Jeonghan hadn’t said anything about Joshua, why create a problem?

 

On the other hand, he was curious as to why Jeonghan was so overly affectionate with him if he didn’t want a relationship, and Jeonghan would keep asking Jihoon what was bothering him until he got an answer, because Jeonghan worried like that.

 

“Are you always so affectionate with your friends?” Jihoon asked hesitantly. 

 

Jeonghan hummed as he thought it over. “Not really.”

 

Jihoon wasn’t sure whether he was relieved or not.

 

Jeonghan hurried to clarify. “I mean, I was with Joshua and I am with a few other people I’ve known for a long time, people I trust. I keep more of a distance with my more casual friends. Why do you ask?”

 

“Soonyoung thought maybe you had a crush on me,” Jihoon chuckled. “I told him he was being ridiculous.” 

 

Jeonghan laughed. “Well… Soonyoung was right, I do like you. But I get the feeling that you’re not really looking for any kind of relationship.”

 

Jihoon could feel butterflies swarming in his stomach. He tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Not really, no. You’re good at reading me.”

 

Jeonghan put an arm around Jihoon, pulling him closer to rest his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. Jihoon let it happen because he felt like he needed the comfort, even though he also wanted to pull away. 

 

“I try,” said Jeonghan. 

 

Once again their silence was broken when Jeonghan asked a question.

 

“Would you be comfortable telling me why?”

 

Jihoon hesitated. Was this the right time? He was always asking himself that and then deciding that, no, it wasn’t the right time. But then when was the right time? Jeonghan was giving him an opening, it was the perfect opportunity being presented to him. Jihoon knew that Jeonghan would be supportive and understanding, but that didn’t calm his hammering heart or stop his palms from sweating. And things got better after telling Soonyoung, so much so that Jihoon wished he’d said something sooner. He didn’t want to regret not telling Jeonghan. 

 

_ If not now, then when? _

 

“You don’t have to tell me,” Jeonghan said, his voice gentle and understanding as though he could sense Jihoon’s inner turmoil. 

 

Jihoon swallowed and rubbed his palms over his jeans, trying to wipe some of the moisture off. 

 

“I want to tell you,” he said. “I’m just not sure how to.”

 

Jeonghan nodded thoughtfully. “Can I ask something then?”

 

“Sure.”

 

Jihoon finally looked up to meet Jeonghan’s eyes and was surprised at how… normal he looked; not angry or anxious or annoyed. Somehow seeing Jeonghan’s calm expression made Jihoon feel more relaxed. 

 

“Are you asexual?”

 

Jihoon’s eyes widened at the question and Jeonghan smirked. 

 

“Thought so,” he said, somewhat proudly. 

 

“How did you know?” Jihoon asked, feeling relieved and happy and a whole mix of other good things.

 

Jeonghan shrugged. “Just little things.”

 

“Like what?”

 

Jeonghan hummed. “Like how you never describe people as hot, or sexy. And you always cringe and check your phone when there’s a sex scene in a movie.”

 

Jihoon chuckled, feeling a blush rise to his cheeks. He liked that Jeonghan was able to pick up on those things. 

 

Zoom yawned and stood up on Jihoon’s lap, arched his back, jumped down onto the floor and trotted over to the sunny spot he liked, clearly deciding he’d given his human enough attention for the moment. 

 

They watched the cat roll around on the carpet before settling, Jihoon’s head still resting against Jeonghan’s shoulder. 

 

“What happens now?” Jihoon asked. 

 

“What do you mean?”

 

Jihoon sat up and turned so he could sit on the couch with his legs crossed, facing Jeonghan. 

 

“Are we still friends? And how do you have feelings for me if you’re with Joshua?”

 

Jeonghan shifted to match Jihoon’s position, smiling sweetly. 

 

“Of course we’re still be friends. Nothing has to change.”

 

Jihoon smiled shyly. “Okay. Good.”

 

“And Joshua knows how I feel. He’s fine with it.”

 

“Okay,” Jihoon nodded, smiling brighter now. “Can you elaborate on that please?”

 

Jeonghan chuckled. “He’s fine with us hanging out and with me sleeping over sometimes. I guess it’s kind of like polyamory.” He said it in a way that made it sound more like a question.

 

“You and I aren’t dating though,” Jihoon said with a confused frown. 

 

“True, but sometimes we act kinda like we are.”

 

“I guess so.”

 

“How do you feel about all this?“ Jeonghan asked. 

 

Jihoon rested his chin in his hands and looked over at Zoom again. 

 

There were no more secrets, so that was good. He liked the relationship he had with Jeonghan and didn’t want it to change, and it didn’t have to, so that was good, too. Even though they’d just had such a heavy conversation nothing was actually different, except now they had clarity. Nothing was changing. Jihoon was still skeptical about Jeonghan describing the situation as polyamorous, because thinking about Jeonghan as a boyfriend made Jihoon feel anxious, but that was just a term to reassure him that Joshua was okay with his boyfriend sharing a bed with someone else. They were still platonic friends, _not dating,_ Jihoon reminded himself, immediately feeling calmer. 

 

“I feel fine,” Jihoon finally replied. “Joshua knows there’s nothing romantic or… sexual between us, right?”

 

“He knows,” Jeonghan reassured him. 

 

 

 

“Thanks for meeting me.”

 

“No problem.” Joshua smiled as he sat down in the chair across the table from Jihoon.

 

Even after the long talk with Jeonghan and a few weeks of things carrying on as usual, Jihoon still felt a bit… worried. He was concerned that maybe Joshua wasn’t as happy with the arrangement as Jeonghan had let on, and Jihoon spent days going back and forth before he decided to ask Joshua to meet him so they could talk. If he’d learned anything from this whole thing it was that saying something sooner was better than bottling it up for ages. Not wanting to worry Jeonghan, Jihoon had asked Seungcheol for Joshua’s number instead. Jeonghan would definitely find out that they talked, but Jihoon could play it off as a coincidence (as long as Joshua didn’t say anything about it being planned), which is why they arranged to meet in the cafe on campus (aside from it being the most convenient location).

 

“So, what’s up?” Joshua asked, popping the lid off his coffee cup so he could add sugar. 

 

Jihoon hesitated. Joshua didn’t rush him, just stirred his coffee and waited patiently. 

 

Jihoon frowned down at his own coffee. “Are you really okay with this?”

 

“You mean Jeonghan and you?”

 

Jihoon nodded. 

 

Joshua laughed, immediately putting Jihoon at ease. If Joshua was laughing then he must be alright with everything. 

 

“Of course,” Joshua replied. “I’m okay with it because I trust him to be honest with me. He can like other people and have close relationships with them. As long as he tells me what’s going on, it’s cool. I don’t need details, I just like knowing how far things go.” He shrugged. 

 

“Has this happened before?” Jihoon asked.

 

“Nah, not really. He’s had crushes on people before, but usually they freak out and think he’d be cheating on me with them and so they don’t want to get involved, even if I tell them it’s okay.”

 

Jihoon nodded thoughtfully. “You’re so okay with this, it’s kinda hard to understand.”

 

“Jeonghan has a lot of love to give,” Joshua said, suddenly sounding very serious. “But I know that he cares about me a lot and wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.”

 

Jihoon smiled. “Me too.”

 

And it was true. He knew Jeonghan would never do anything to intentionally hurt him because he was too caring and gentle of a person to ever do that. 

 

Jihoon had one more question. 

 

“Don’t you ever feel jealous? Like, if Jeonghan sleeps with someone else, won’t you feel insecure or something?”

 

Joshua shrugged. “Hasn’t happened yet. I don’t think he would anyway, he mostly just seems to want what you two have with other people. And we’ve known each other so long I don’t think either of us can go without the other anymore.”

 

Jihoon wasn’t sure what to say so he took a sip of his coffee, hoping Joshua would say something else so he wouldn’t have to think of how to continue the conversation. 

 

“I know it’s cheesy,” Joshua said, “but I feel like Jeonghan and I must be soulmates or something. I know he’ll never leave me and that’s why I’m okay with him loving other people. We understand each other. He finds people whose souls he connects with, and he’s happy, so I won’t stop him.”

 

Jihoon smiled. Seeing the love and understanding between Jeonghan and Joshua made affection and gratitude swell in his chest. Affection for Jeonghan and gratitude towards Joshua for being so cool with everything. 

 

“That was cheesy, but I get it,” Jihoon replied. “Sometimes I think we must be platonic soulmates or something, because he always seems to know what to say and what to do, you know?”

 

Now he was really blushing. 

 

Joshua giggled. “This is fun, discussing Jeonghan.”

 

“Yeah, it is actually.”

 

“I need to get to class, but we should hang out again some time,” Joshua offered, standing from his chair and placing the lid back on his coffee.

 

“I’d like that.”

 

 

 

Next time they had a movie night, Jihoon told Jeonghan to bring Joshua with him. 

 

Soonyoung got back from dinner with Wonwoo to find Jihoon asleep with his head on Jeonghan’s lap while Joshua leaned against his boyfriend with their fingers intertwined together. 

 

Jeonghan looked up when he heard Soonyoung’s footsteps, trying to hold in his laughter at the confused expression on Soonyoung’s face. The poor boy looked like someone told him February was going to be left out of the year. 

 

“I don’t even want to know,” Soonyoung mumbled as he walked to his room. 

 

Jeonghan chuckled, slightly jostling the boys resting on him. Joshua held back a giggle and Jihoon mumbled in his sleep at the disturbance. 

 

“Actually,” said Soonyoung, poking his head around the door. “I do, but I’ll just interrogate Jihoon tomorrow when you’re both gone because that will be much more fun.”

 

“Go nuts,” Joshua replied. 

 

Soonyoung did a little salute before closing his door. 

 

“Sometimes I really hate him,” Jihoon mumbled.

 

Jeonghan and Joshua laughed and looked down at him. 

 

“We thought you were asleep,” Jeonghan said, carding his fingers through Jihoon’s hair. 

 

“I _was_ ,” Jihoon replied.“Soonyoung is loud.”

 

“Do you want to go to bed?” Joshua asked softly. 

 

Jihoon nodded, his eyes still closed. 

 

He slowly sat up, rubbed at his eyes and then used the couch to pull himself up so he was standing. Zoom trotted over and rubbed against Jihoon’s legs while the other two stood and stretched. Jeonghan held his arms open and Jihoon gladly fell into the hug, appreciating the warmth and the comforting feeling. 

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Jeonghan asked in a whisper. 

 

Jihoon shook his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine. Go home with Joshua so I don’t have to worry about you being alone in the city so late.”

 

Jihoon felt more than heard the laugh Jeonghan let out. “You’re so cute sometimes.”

 

Jihoon’s little grunt was all Jeonghan needed to hear to know he disagreed. 

 

Jeonghan pulled away from the hug. “Lock the door after us.”

 

Jihoon nodded, too tired to concentrate on forming sentences, and followed the couple to the front door. 

 

“Text me when you guys get home,” he mumbled. 

 

“You’ll be asleep,” Jeonghan said with a smirk.

 

“Do it anyway,” Jihoon grumbled as he let himself get hugged one last time. 

 

“We will,” Joshua promised, patting Jihoon’s back reassuringly. 

 

It was strange crawling into bed that night without Jeonghan taking up the other half as he usually did after a movie night. It wasn’t like Jeonghan slept over all the time, but Jihoon still kind of missed his presence. As much as Jihoon wished he had Jeonghan with him, he wasn’t at all jealous of Joshua; he was just happy that he and what he did with Jeonghan. 

 

Jihoon was starting to feel more comfortable with the arrangement the three of them had. Things with Jeonghan were as they always had been, and Jihoon and Joshua were getting closer. 

 

He still wasn’t interested in taking things further because he had all he needed with the way things were; Jeonghan was there if he needed a hug or a shoulder to lean on and now Joshua was there to reassure him when he started doubting everything. Things were good with the two of them in his life. 

 

Jihoon was happy.

 

And definitely not lonely. 

**Author's Note:**

> Officially the longest thing I have ever written.
> 
> Stay tuned for the story of how Jihoon finds Zoom and how the cat gets that name (might take a while because exams are approaching).


End file.
